Leave 'Em Alone!

i'm sickened by the media and how they can drive desperate, helpless people literally to their deaths. how sick must you be to derive satisfaction from other people's very personal problems. it's quite plain that britney needs help--stop shoving cameras and waving bright white lights in her face. the paparazzi that constantly hounded diana practically murdered her. and the latest casualty of the media was a former reporter for WDIV-4. she admitted to having problems managing her personal life. why dredge it up again before the cameras, especially when she was trying to reassemble the shattered pieces of her life and professional career--all while struggling with depression? she even asked the station not to air the story because it would sabotage her new career in Lansing. what happened to respect for fellow colleagues? and i'm sure many don't even remember her from her time here in Detroit; why even bother running a story about her broken life? have we as a society become so smug and arrogant about our 'perfect' little selves that we can't feel any compassion for those whose lives are in shambles... that we must lord it over the 'fallen mighty' by rubbing their flaws like mud in the face? i don't even know the woman, but her death broke my heart... because i've been there before. sure, my issues weren't aired for all of metro Detroit, but i do know what it's like to feel alone and to want death above anything else. fortunately, someone helped me through it. if only the media had thought of that before they ran her story.

*sigh*

all i can say is that i've had it. and to the callous media... shame on you.

Déjà Vu, Among Other Things

i find it somewhat eerie how my dreams of late predict a future reality. i could perhaps look past one or two coincidental instances, but 5-6 a week? at first, this might sound really cool, but my dreams really don't show what one might deem significant. what i mean is, don't expect me to know the outcome of this year's March Madness, or be able to see the face of the one you'll marry. my dreams consist of scenes from ordinary life, such as riding in a car... conversations with friends... getting dressed in the morning... yeeeeah. as i said: none too interesting.
i do have other dreams, though... the kind that feel so real and leave me craving for more of that joy that it evoked. sadly, these don't actually happen for me in real life. or will they...?

anyway, Carmina Burana is finally over. i seriously thought i wouldn't make it through the weekend, but God was (and always is) good to me and kept me going. the madness isn't over yet though: i have one week to finish up the music for the retreat this weekend. i have a final list, but i still feel something's wrong/missing from the songs i've lined up. also, leading worship this year might be a challenge considering i'm working with a guy who's never done this kind of thing before.

girl, just gotta trust.

pray... then let go.